So.. I tried to change that this year. First birthday of a sibling inlaw came around and I went to 6 different book stores looking for a present. (Do you know how not easy it is to drag a sleepy/grumpy baby in and out of the car all day?) I had a general idea of what I wanted, but ended up with a great big nothing. There was one book(Graphic Design Theory: Readings from the Field) I almost bought, twice. I thought it might be a good book for him to have in his "library", but it was way more text filled and way less visual a book than I had wanted to find and therefore not a good birthday present.
If he and I had a better relationship, or any relationship at all I guess, I could have explained how helpful it might be for him to read/look at the potential book.. but I don't know how I could have explained it (given our current state) without sounding foolish.
And I didn't even wish this BrotherInLaw a happy birthday. Ya, I know! (again.. me=worst) I didn't go out of my way to see him on the actual day. I was busy not buying him a present, taking care of daughter, blah blah blah. And then he was with his friends so I didn't want to be stupid sister inlaw butting in all of sudden. And I kind of wanted to tell him in person rather than just sending a text or email.. only saying "happy birthday". And then he'd reply "thanks".. and that would be the end of it.
So with all my good intentions he has no idea about.. basically I just look like a jerk. Oh well, he probably didn't even notice and/or care. Maybe a week from now, when I run into him, I can say "happy birthday", he will look at me like I'm an idiot, say "thanks", and I will walk away feeling like an even bigger jerk. It will be great.